Yes you read that right. A follow up to my previous. From having a first spark to being ghosted.
I still wonder what I did wrong. I know everyone will say it wasn’t you. He just wasn’t interested. But let’s talk real here. In order for him to not be interested it is obviously something about me that is causing that to happen. Everything was going so smooth. We had a great connection, great chemistry. Made each other laugh, and it was super easy. All of a sudden, no texts back. Waited a day, texted him just saying he’s a horrible texter-which I have done before and we laughed about. A few days later I sent my final text, again light hearted about something we talked about. I stopped communicating after that. He clearly doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. But again, what did I do wrong. I didn’t talk about the future, or anything awkward. Only things we have in common and I followed his lead mostly. It feels horrible after such an amazing date and being under the impression that they want to see you again. You said it first! Not me! I get that they could have been just saying it but then I feel like I would have been ghosted after the date and not several days later. So again I wonder, what did I do wrong. Now I would like to come up with a general guideline on ghosting people. I do think in certain situations it may be ok even after a first date. Here we go.
- While you’re still just talking. If you swiped and you haven’t met yet
- If they are rude or disrespectful. On or offline.
- If you have communicated that you are not interested in it going further.
- If the aren’t actually single.
- If you can’t manage to be civil. “If you don’t have anything nice to say…”
Now mind you I get sometimes life happens. You are not willing to give an explanation, or maybe they just wont take one. But keep in mind most people like honesty. A simple not interested, or I’m not in the right place to date right now. That can go miles. Even a simple fade out would suffice. People typically catch on to the vibes pretty fast. But remember if you initiate another date and say how excited you are to see them again, not cool. So in a few months when you text me, you won’t get the time of day.
You spend countless hours swiping left. How else are you supposed to meet someone these days. How can you rely on a good old fashioned love story? I say make one yourself.
Finally a guy catches your eye more than the others you swiped right on because “Hey, why not.” You take the time to plan out a witty remark to type out. You send it. Think nothing more because of how many people never reply. Awhile later you get a response. You play it cool of course because that’s what people tell you to do. Give a bit of time, make them want you blah, blah, blah. A week goes by and you finally make plans to meet up.
He’s way cuter in person. You spend all night talking and it feels right. Natural. Like you’ve known him forever. His smile makes you melt a bit. Oh shit. You may actually like him and want to see him again. You don’t remember the last time you felt this feeling. No other dates have felt this easy or great. You feel like a school girl as cheesy and cliche as it is. And here you are thinking wow aren’t I so cliche right now.
He leans in and kisses you. Full on high school make out session. Eventually conversation rolls around again. You explain that because of horrible double standards and the fact you want to see him again that you don’t want to sleep with him. Well you do. But you probably shouldn’t. He says he wants to see you again. How much he feels like he knows you already. You end up back at his house fool around a bit and he drives you home.
You continue texting back and forth for the coming days. He again states he cannot wait to see you. He is excited and wants to go out on another date. You tell him to pick a time and place and you will try to make it happen. Again, dating rules, can’t seem too available. You tell your friends how excited you are. How it feels like you actually could see yourself seeing him again. You get excited every time you think of him and your date.
Now again, I again think you should make your own fairytale. This was not mine. I still am sad that I didn’t get to see him again. The feeling I had during this first date is probably the feeling I will hope to have with someone else and the standard to which I will hold the rest of my first dates on. He is just that great of a person until I got ghosted.